Introduction ...Forget-Me-Not - A Celebration

Forget-Me-Not - the flower for Dementia          

On December 3rd 2021 my beautiful, kind and caring Nanny Dot passed away, after a long battle with dementia she put her dancing shoes on and waltzed her way to heaven to meet my Grandad. This has been one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life, my heart still aches. One thing Nanny would not have wanted is for me to be sad, she would 100% want me to be strong and think of the positives from her passing. Nanny Dot was one of the most caring, bravest, strongest, kindest people on this planet - she truly was, she lived life with deep rooted values such as care, kindness, compassion, integrity and love. Nanny taught me so much, she was and is my educator for life.

Today marks Nanny Dots 90th birthday, although she isn't here (god she would have loved the fuss made of her today and the copious amounts of Port) I wanted to celebrate my Nanny, her legacy and everything she taught me through the creation of this new blog - Dotty's Diary!

 For two months I have been collecting voice notes, post its and more, logging what is happening around me in education, personally and serendipitously to blog about through the eyes of my Nanny so I can keep on learning her lessons of love and life.

 If you know me well, you will know one of my coping mechanisms is to speak out loud, to share things honestly and openly, I can promise that entries will be hopeful, joyful, brave and kind, just as Nanny would have wanted and how she went about life. 

Forget-me-nots are the flower for dementia and symbolize true love and respect, receiving one of these flowers represents a promise that you will remember them and keep them in your thoughts.

I haven't experienced grief many times but when I have, god was it painful - losing my Grandad, Baby Jude and Nanny Dot was a pain like no other, like it had consumed me physically and mentally. Until recently, reading Brene Brown, a quote struck me from  Atlas of the Heart (P.110, 2021)

"grief does not obey your plans, or your wishes. Grief will do whatever it wants to you, whenever it wants to. In that regard, Grief has a lot in common Love" - Elizabeth Gilbert

This quote and Brene's chapter, Places We Go When We Are Hurting, helped put my sadness, grief, loss into perspective - the thought of my pain coming from a place of love comforts me, I have returned to this chapter on several occasions. Grief never ends but you can adapt to losing someone, there is a need for connection, to tell the story and listen to the stories of others - I will connect my my grief, from a place of love through this blog.

Grief and love are just two of the eighty seven emotions and experiences focused on in Atlas of The Heart, when I think of grief I will always think of love - they go hand in hand for me. 

I can imagine what Nanny would say if she was here now and I told her I had dedicated my blog to her...firstly it would be..

'what is a blog?'- at this point I would explain its like a newspaper article. 

'a newspaper? we are going to be in a newspaper? awwww you don't have to, will it be too much work?' I would reassure her I am not overworking myself and tell her its because how much she inspires me. She cut clippings could also be thinking how she could cut the clippings, something she always did.

'that is so kind, you are a clever girl Stacey' - She had nothing but praise, appreciation and encouragement - she would love to know she was headlining my blog!

Followed by the best cuddle - she always squeezed me tight, a sense protection and safety.

During the week leading up to my Nanny's passing, me and my family cared for her 24/7 - we  moved into the nursing home for a week, we cared for her like she she cared for us for decades. I took time off work and experienced a lot of negativity from different sources (there is no place for this here) but the lesson to be learnt from this is that we should care, taking consideration the feelings of others, a practice of care and compassion - otherwise are they worth bothering with? That is certainly the advice Nanny would give.

But this is not about negativity, its about the values we should practice in life personally and professionally, there are some I am still developing but they are certainly there. As a teacher in the FE sector at times we are the only constant people there for students, we see it everyday, students from different backgrounds with different things happening. What we must encourage and provide a practice of care, to listen to their voices and take their feelings into consideration - lifelong learning is not just about the lesson in the classroom for three hours, it's not their job but it is their journey. Students aren't just number or statistics and I like to think I guide them through knowing them as humans.

Nanny would have been a great inspiration to some of the students we see each day, she would 100% ensure they are fed, they have drinks and she would say 'tell me all about it'. She would definitely want to know about them, their stories, their troubles before anything else. 

This is why Nanny Dot is my greatest educator and inspiration and will be guiding me through my next journey of blogging.

Happy 90th Birthday Nanny - I love you, I miss you & I will never forget you.

Stacey Salt - Advanced Practitioner